Blog ko ‘toh! (reader discretion is advised)

Have you ever lost something and felt really bad that you couldn’t find it after you’ve tried looking everywhere and did everything to find it? Like looking for a 5 inch object (probably a comb, a pen, or your phone) that you badly need but couldn’t find in your 5×5m room, it seems logical that you will find it, considering the small space and that the size of the object is fairly noticeable. But does it bother you that after all the effort, frustration sets in and you will realize that you can’t find it. You’ve lost it in your own little space. But does it bother you more that when you stopped looking, there it is, right there in a place that you can swear you looked at for it. What do you call it? We used to blame it on maligno or dwende. Blame something. Placing your faith in the wrong place. Found something and lost something. John Locke, one of the main characters in the Lost TV series, was conned by his estranged father for his kidney. Right after the transplant, Locke was left in the hospital by himself, no father in sight, no message left. Locke went to his father’s house to find answers, why he was left behind, he kept on saying that his father could have just asked and he will give it, his kidney, and that he didn’t have to con him. But his father kept him out, left him by himself, just like that. John kept on coming back to the same place every night, right at the gate of his father’s big house. One night, his girlfriend Helen tailed him and confronted him, and tried to persuade John to stop what he was doing. To stop going back. Helen made a point "I know why you’re here — why you keep coming here. You’re scared — scared of moving forward", that was the last night Locke went there. John moved on with his life. But he never found the answers that he wanted to hear from his father. I think he found it somewhere else, when he stopped looking. Finding people is not like looking for objects, people can keep themselves "lost." Why do we keep coming back to the same people, coming back to old habits, doing the same mistakes? Is it because we’ve become so comfortable with our "old" selves and are afraid to move on, to change? We are just afraid. Afraid of moving forward where we don’t know what to expect or don’t know what will happen. Doubt is the word. Faith is the answer. And believe me, its more than just malignos or dwendes.

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